Returning to school can bring big changes and trigger clinical anxiety. Especially if this time of year brings a new experience of living away from home and family, anxiety can become debilitating. In a recent large scale study, it was reported that 30 per cent of Ontario teens report psychological distress and that level is rising at alarming rates.
If your kid is one of those struggling with stress and anxiety, you know how frustrated a parent can feel. It’s actually very frightening; at least it was for me. Even though my son’s feelings were just “in his head”, the symptomology and fall-out were very physical and real.
You may notice the following in your child if they are developing anxiety:
1. changes in sleep habits, particularly not being able to fall or stay asleep
2. discussions about illness or physical problems, like heart palpitations, breathlessness, joint stiffness or mysterious pains that often shift throughout the body
3. reluctance to participate in family activities or try anything new
4. angry outbursts and often long painful silences
5. difficulty coping with their workload and daily tasks
Sometimes, symptoms progress to panic or anxiety attacks. These are scary! There is real pain, often around the chest, breathing difficulties, accelerated heart rate, eyes rolling back in the head and basically true, raw panic in every sense. In the emergency room, on any given day or night, you’ll find people waiting that are convinced they are having a heart attack. Luckily, they are not. But it’s that bad.
Now you are having anxiety yourself, worrying about your kid. Let me offer some support. There is a way out and it can begin right now in the simplest and cheapest way possible - with breathing.
Before examining these tools, let’s suggest that you do see your family doctor or health care professional soon to make sure that the patient is physically well. A lack of iron or protein in the diet, or too much sugar or caffeine (all things that commonly occur when kids go away to school) can wreak havoc with the nervous system. Basic things like making sure they have the right eye glass prescription and feel safe in their living situation are good bases to cover.
The following protocol is safe regardless and will support any steps your doctor suggests, including medication. Your doctor may encourage you to try this protocol first for four to six weeks, with your child’s full enthusiastic participation, to see if you can avoid medication.
To understand why this protocol works, you may want to watch this video explaining a bit about the nervous system. We run ourselves, and our kids run themselves, ragged and then we’re surprised that we have a reaction. (see video here)
Here’s the protocol:
1. Structure – Routine is key. The nervous system is like a cranky toddler. It is much calmer when it knows what to expect. See if the patient can arrange their schedule so they go to bed and wake at similar times, eat meals regularly and in a calm atmosphere. For the duration of the protocol, reduce the going out, travel and activities that deviate from the routine.
2. Diet – The nervous system needs healthy food, too. Think vegetables, fruits, whole grains, adequate protein and good fats. Because the brain is a real energy gobbler, it needs fat. Some studies have shown good results with Omega 3 rich fish oils. Reduce or eliminate caffeine (it revs up the nervous system when it is already overcharged) and alcohol (it depresses the nervous system but then when the initial effect wears off, it kicks back and over jazzes us again).
3. Movement: Exercise burns off nervous energy and opens the possibility of finding balance again. Avoid competitive exercise but opt for hiking in nature, zumba, or another activity that is fun and no pressure. If this can be done in nature or outside, even better.
4. Breathing: Changing the way you breathe speaks directly to the nervous system in a language it can understand. You can’t think your way out of anxiety. The thoughts are where the glitch is. But you can slow down the breath and match the inhale to the exhale and that will insert new information to the system. This article explains a well researched breathing technique that can short circuit a panic attack and relieve short term stress. The dosage here is three times per day for about five minutes.
5. Rest: For a minimum of 20 minutes every day, the patient will be need to rest. Not sleep or nap or watch youtube, but rest therapeutically. A guided relaxation can be used (one of my favourites videos here ) or a restorative yoga pose (see video here). There are thousands and millions of options to explore to find a practice that suits the individual and will keep them enjoying their cozy time. Even if the to-do list is crushing, this “time out” will get the patient back to work with far more clarity of thought and energy.
This is a lifestyle change and not a natural one for students. It doesn’t have to be rigid forever. But this experience will build life skills that will serve your student well for a lifetime. Results are often felt almost immediately, and anxiety can be more controlled within a few weeks.
